These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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