dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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