I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
