U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
