I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
