Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
