I have demons in me.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
