let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
