New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
