i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
