he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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