Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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