Can i not drive my cunt home
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
