I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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