i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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