i can't believe i had my finger in that
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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