That's intense
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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