Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
