whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
