I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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