Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
