i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
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Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
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The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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