my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
