I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I understand Curling. That high.
I love having hate sex.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
