Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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