i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Green mimosas i think yes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
