You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
