She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
