remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I intend to get homeless drunk
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
