I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
