I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
