Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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