awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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