sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
