That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
