she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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