I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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