sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
