i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't deserve a penis
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize