I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
