just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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