Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
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He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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