Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
And then he peed in my hair
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