3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
