I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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