i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
