New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
