I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
