Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
