she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize