you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
