The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
