I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
