dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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