This girl is more easily done than said...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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