i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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