I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
