i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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