she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
