i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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