At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
