a queef is a wish your heart makes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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