Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize