my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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