I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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